My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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