So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
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Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
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I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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