I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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