i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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