Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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