I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i love accidental penises.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
