Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
