I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Randomize
