I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
and she was petting her beer can
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
