I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
