I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
