Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
