I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
