i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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