Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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