Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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