Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
