I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
