Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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