Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
