quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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