i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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