I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
