i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
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I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
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How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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