would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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