I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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