not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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