Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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