Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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