he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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