hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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