Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
