He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
