remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
