i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
