I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
