moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
