im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
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the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
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I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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