Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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