The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
