thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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