If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
