No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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