The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
