Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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