How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
