I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you win again, gameday.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
