You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
