College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
