I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
