I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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