she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
