Non-Jews are for practice
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize