Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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