The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
