WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
