I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
