butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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