never play flip cup with pint glasses
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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