fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
