Moan for me like Helen Keller
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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