He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
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She's like a pop up book from hell.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
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So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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