im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
