This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I just want nice things and good sex
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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