I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
