dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
