I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
