i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
